Clean Slates

It’s been awhile since I’ve written regularly. But a lot has happened and I finally have time to tell you guys. For one, Molly and I now live in a new apartment and we are completely moved in. For two, I have a new addition to my family!

I’ve made progress with therapy dealing with what happened with Amber but for a while it seemed I’d hit a plateau and Dr. Sheehan made an unusual suggestion.

“It seems that you still don’t feel safe in your apartment.”

“I don’t. And I know Molly doesn’t. We’ve moved but both of us jump at the slightest sound.”

“Have you considered adopting a dog?”

“What?”

“Well, getting a dog might make you feel safer. You could adopt one through the animal shelters you volunteer with. And the benefits of having pets are numerous, especially for mental health.”

I went home that night and brought it up with Molly over dinner (taco night).

“I’d be cool with that.” Molly said, “I’d even go with you and help you pick one out.”

And that’s how we ended up with Sasha, my black and white speckled Border Collie. She’s one and a half and fully trained. Her previous owner was a dog trainer but unexpectedly died and Sasha was given to the no-kill shelter I volunteer at.

Sasha fits in perfectly with us and she gets along well with Murphy. At first he was a little suspicious of her but as I type this they are snuggled up with each other sleeping on the couch next to me.

Our new apartment is great. Moving in was a hassle and seemed to take forever but now that we are here and settled in, I’m so glad we moved. I was able to sleep much more soundly on our first night here than I have ever since the Amber Incident. We have a three bedroom just like our last apartment. Molly has the extra room as her work studio for her costuming and sewing stuff and I have my own bathroom. We actually have a much bigger balcony than we did in our last apartment which is really nice. I let Sasha out on it frequently and she loves it, even Murphy gets to sit outside for a little bit. I’d like to buy a hammock and some flower boxes for it at some point and really make it ours.

The layout of the apartment is still sort of new to get used to. It’s a very open floor plan so our kitchen, dining, and living areas are basically all one. We have a breakfast bar connected to the kitchen island which adds some separation and the dining area is actually very nice. It’s almost like a breakfast nook in that it’s surrounded by large windows and is sort of off to the side of the rest of the apartment. The living area is big enough for us although it is smaller than our old one. We did have to sell our entertainment center and buy a smaller one just because it was WAY too big and would’ve cut down on the space a big deal. The one downside to the open floor plan is that we don’t have a lot of space for storage because there’s only one closet. We have walk-in closets in our rooms, though, and my bathroom has a nice storage area for my hamper, towels, etc.

I think we found a great place and it’s about $300 cheaper than our old apartment. It would actually be even cheaper but at our old place, I didn’t have to pay a pet deposit every month (added to our rent bill) and I do here. The neighborhood is really nice. There are townhouses across the street and so far it seems like it’s a pretty quiet place to live. It’s not too far from work, although our last place was closer, but it does have easy access to public transport via the train and bus. My favorite thing about it is that there is a gorgeous park diagonal from our building which provides a stunning view from most of our windows. The best part is that it has a dog park attached to it which is super fun to take Sasha to. There’s even a little pond with a fountain in the middle right in the center of the green space. Molly and I love it here.

The Glass Penny’s renovation has been making some pretty awesome progress and we’ll be opening our first show in February (Fiddler on the Roof). Auditions start next month and I’m really looking forward to quitting Bruno’s and working on my career.

I will say that my boy problems have pretty much resolved themselves. Although Mike’s unexpected appearance threw me off quite a bit, I’ve recovered and, in a way, I think knowing he’s moved on has allowed me to do the same. That doesn’t mean I’m over him (and I expressed in therapy that I might never be over him) but it’s less painful when I think of him now and I don’t find myself thinking about him as often as I used to.

Adam is another story, though. He’s been out of the hospital since the beginning of November and he also ended up moving to a different apartment, too. I’ve hung out him regularly and right now things are just like they were between us before we kissed in his hospital room. Sometimes, though, it feels like there’s a spark between us that disappears as quickly as it comes. I was over at his apartment the other day for our weekly Project Runway nights and we both reached for a slice of pizza at the same time and our hands lingered near each other’s for a beat too long.

I told Dr. Sheehan about all of this in therapy and she’s been helping me cope.

“I’m proud that you’ve managed to keep your therapy goals a priority, Faith. During times of great stress, it can be easy to look for a sexual outlet or look for a romantic partner to lean on but you’ve been dealing with this with the help of your family and friends.”

“A few months ago, I think I probably would have jumped into bed with Adam without thinking of the consequences and even though I think he was disappointed when I said I needed time, I appreciate that he’s been understanding about it.” I said.

And that is completely true. A few months ago, I can only imagine what kind of destructive things I would have done if this had all happened.

One of the big things I’ve been talking about in therapy has also been the idea of starting over, of having a clean slate and I’m really looking forward to 2014 because of that.

(Author's Note: SURPRISE POST! -del)