I’m meeting with my old work friends tomorrow for lunch and
I’m a little nervous about it. I’m surprised that they even agreed to meet me
for lunch considering how things were left between us. I mean, I was the one
who fired them and they were pretty cold when they found out I knew for as long
as I did that the news station paper was going under.
I’m meeting with Suzy, Dina, and Steve. I’ve also got plans
to meet with Adam over the weekend. I’ve seen him a few times since he met
Mike a few months ago but I haven’t really told him about the things going on
with me. All I know is that he’s dating a woman named Amber and they’re going
pretty strong. He seems happy from the text messages and e-mails I’ve gotten in
between our visits and I’m really happy for him. I haven’t seen his new apartment,
yet so this weekend we’re getting some pizza and marathoning Project Runway
All-Star. We are both incredibly excited for the new Project Runway season to
start and I love that I got him into that show.
Honestly, this whole therapy thing is hard. It’s easy to
keep doing everything you’ve always done and never stop to analyze it but now
it’s like EVERYTHING I do has to be analyzed and I’m not liking the person I’ve
been for so long. It’s not an enjoyable
process to realize you haven’t been the best person you can be. The main thing
to remember, though, is that I’m trying to be better, not just to myself but to
my friends, too, and trying is better than avoiding. So even though it’s
uncomfortable right now, I just need to keep reminding myself that the progress
I’m making is good, even if it doesn’t feel that way 100% of the time.
I know things with Dina, Suzy, and Steve probably won’t be
like they used to be but I think I do at least owe them an apology for
basically ignoring them for over a year. And the worst part is that all three
of them reached out to me to visit and I never returned their calls or e-mails.
Dina even sent me a card in the mail after the fire expressing her sadness
about it and her happiness that I was okay and I never responded. I’ve been a
pretty shitty friend all around, even to the friends I’m really close with.
Zoey, Molly, Anna, and I are all going for a girls’ day/night
next week. We’re going shopping, we’re getting our nails done, and we’re
pigging out on delicious greasy food and Netflix. I’m looking forward to that.
It seems like it’s been ages since the four of us hung out and I want to know
everything I’ve been missing out on or ignoring.
I did get an interesting e-mail from Zeke, the technician I
work with at Eddie’s theatre. He wants me to meet him for lunch at this really
fancy restaurant in a few weeks…and he wants me to bring Molly. He just asked
me if I could make it or if there was a better time that worked for me. He didn’t
have a description of what it was about but I think we can rule it out as a
date since he wants me to bring Molly, right? I asked him what the lunch was
for but he was vague and said it was a “theatre thing”. I told him we’d be there, Molly was all for
it.
“Do you know what that’s about?” I asked her with
skepticism. She seemed like she knew something I didn’t.
“I have an idea, but I don’t want to say anything in case I’m
wrong. But if it’s what I’m thinking, you are SO going to be interested. There
are just a lot of things that need to fall into place first. I don’t want to
jinx it!”
I eyed her and frowned.
“Faith, I promise, it’s a good thing. Put it out of your mind for now and wear something nice when we go. It might end up falling through, anyway, just relax and go with it.”
She was right, I had more important things to have anxiety
about, like my lunch with old co-workers tomorrow…
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