New Leaves

I found myself sitting in the squishy leather chair with a feeling of resignation.

End of The Road

“Who the HELL allowed this to happen!?”

Maggie was yelling at Tony and all of Mike’s friends in the burn unit’s waiting room. She was absolutely distraught and taking it out on everyone around her. It got to the point where the hospital staff threatened to call security unless she left Mike’s room until she calmed down. Incidentally, calming down was the opposite of what she was doing in the waiting room.

Living Nightmare

I hit the sidewalk after my meeting and took out my phone. I had three missed calls from a number I didn’t know. As I stared at my phone in confusion another call came through from the same number.

“Hello?”

Happy Fucking Holidays

Mike and I trudged up the snowy stoop to Maggie’s house. I was carrying several gifts for Grant and Annabelle and had gifts for Claire, Sarah, Maggie, and Jamie in a bag slung over my shoulder. Mike was holding a dish of my stuffed mushrooms and a couple bottles of wine.

I chose my outfit very carefully for the night. It was a black dress with long black sleeves and a conservative neckline. It went to just above my knee and I was wearing thick black tights and black shoes. Mike had commented that I looked like I was going to a funeral so I threw on some Christmas ball ornament earrings, put a gift bow in my hair, and changed my shoes out for some shiny red pumps that matched the earrings and bow.

Maggie greeted us at the door.

Halloween, Birthdays, and Obligations

“Faith.” Maggie said stiffly when she answered the door.

“Maggie, it’s great to see you.” I said cordially.

“No need to lie.” She tittered.

Her tone was a joking tone but her eyes told me she meant it. Mike laughed and I joined in half-heartedly as we walked over the threshold to Mike’s dad’s house.

Halves

“What? Mike, I’ve met your all of your sisters, she’s not-”

“She’s my half-sister, Faith.”

I sat down heavily on Mike’s couch and let out a deep breath before looking at him with all the confusion in the world painted on my face. He sighed and put his hands together. I could tell he was choosing his words very carefully.

Signed. Sealed. Delivered.

Mike and I had just had a session of great morning sex in my bed.

The Meeting

Mike was waiting for me when I walked into the coffee shop we’d decided to meet at. He had two cups of coffee sitting on the table. I sat down and prepared myself for a very unhappy conversation.

“Can we just get this over with?” I blurted out.

“What do you mean?” Mike asked.

“I know you’re breaking up with me. You can just say it, I won’t make a scene.”

Mike gave me a half smile.

“Do you want to break up?” He asked.

“Is this a trick question?” I asked suspiciously.

“Faith, I just wanted to talk about what happened and see where we wanted to go from there.”

“Oh.” I felt relieved but also embarrassed.

Mike scooted a coffee cup in my direction and I took it.

“I owe you an apology,” He started, “I should have defended you. Maggie crossed a line and I talked to her about it. She wanted me to give you this.”

He handed me a sealed envelope. I looked at him with confusion.

“I haven’t read it. But Maggie wrote it to you and she said it’s an apology for how she treated you. She and Jamie and the kids left a few days after Christmas so she couldn’t give it to you in person.”

I took the envelope and looked at the neat cursive on the front that spelled out my name.

“I should have told you about the tension between Maggie and I.” I said.

“Faith, I knew it was there, I just didn’t want to deal with it. And I’m really sorry for that. I should have stepped in long before the argument in the kitchen took place. I should have been more present…I should have been there for you like you were for me.”

Mike looked sad and tired. He’d gone through so much in the last month. I took his hand.

“I just want you to understand that I don’t expect you to put me before your family. So I get it, Mike, but I also appreciate your apology. You’ve been dealing with so much and I want to apologize for just adding to that with this whole situation.”

Mike and I looked at each other and smiled sadly.

“I’m really lucky to have you in my life, Faith. Most girlfriends probably would have bailed but you dove right in and offered support to me AND to my family. I talked to Sarah and Claire and explained to them that Maggie was wrong about the kind of person you are and that they shouldn’t let what happened ruin the way they felt about you before. I care about you and I want you to feel comfortable around my family.”

“Thank you.” I said. I was touched.

“So,” Mike took in a shaky breath, “what do you want to do about us? Do you want to end things or should we stay together?”

I smiled.

“I don’t want to break up.”

When I walked into the coffee shop earlier, I never thought Mike and I would come out as a couple. Things had gone better than I had ever thought but as we walked around in a nearby park I felt pangs of guilt over what had transpired the night before with Brad. Now that Mike and I are no longer on our break I don’t know what to do; I feel so conflicted and I regret everything that happened even more than I did last night.

Should I tell Mike what happened while we were on our break or will that just cause unnecessary tension between us while we’re trying to recover from almost breaking up? I don’t know what to do.

As for Maggie's letter, I haven't even opened it yet. I just couldn't bring myself to do it with everything she said still bouncing around in my head mixed in with the guilt I feel about the Brad situation. I'll read it...eventually, but I just want to kind of forget about Maggie for the moment.

Christmas Eve

Mike and I arrived at Frank’s house for Christmas Eve dinner promptly at 5:30. Maggie had sent everyone an e-mail detailing the itinerary for the evening to the smallest minute the day before. Mike and I were expected to bring the wine and an appetizer. I decided to bring my famous stuffed mushrooms.

Maggie opened the door in a huff. The sound of a sports game was playing from the living room where Frank’s voice was mingled with Jamie’s. Mike gave me a kiss on the cheek before joining his dad and brother-in-law. I held out my stuffed mushrooms and Maggie directed me to the kitchen. She had asked me not to cook them before I arrived so they’d be hot when they were ready to be served.

I sat down at the kitchen’s island as Maggie popped the mushrooms into the oven, on the rack above the turkey. A few pots were boiling away on the stove top.

“Maggie, can I pour you a glass of wine?” I asked. She nodded as she began chopping some potatoes. That was a good sign. I smiled internally at Maggie FINALLY showing me something other than animosity. Sarah was setting the table in the dining room with Claire and Maggie’s kids were playing by the Christmas tree in the living room. It was nice to just sit and be with Mike’s family for a few small moments.

After about 15 minutes, Maggie served my stuffed mushrooms.

“Faith, these are amazing.” Claire said popping them into her mouth.

“Oh, thank you.” I said.

“No, for real, these are like crack. Can you bring them with you every time you come over?” Sarah asked.

Jamie came in and grabbed some too.

“Wow, Faith, did you make these, they’re great!” He said.

About 30 minutes later, Sarah and I were helping Maggie get everything ready for dinner. I was on salad duty and Sarah was in charge of mashing the potatoes. More and more dishes were sent out and the table slowly filled with Mike’s family. Maggie came out with the turkey and we all oohed and awed before passing sides and rolls around the table as Frank cut it.

Dinner was delicious and I was absolutely stuffed. Maggie had warm cider simmering on the stove and apple crisp ready to be put in the oven once the gifts were opened.

We all sat around the tree after dinner but the mood became fairly somber. No one really wanted to open the gifts from Betty, I think. There was a sense of finality to it and it also reminded everybody that there was a definite void this Christmas.  It was a fairly emotional experience to open the gifts Betty left behind.

Among the more memorable items Betty had purchased for her family was a necklace with pointe shoes on it for Sarah, a tea ball with Claire’s name on it and a matching tea cup, a car detailing kit for Mike and Frank to use for the car they’ve been refurbishing, and the scarf she had mentioned making for me shortly before she died. There were other gifts; handmade blankets for Annabelle and Grant, Jamie’s favorite kind of fudge. Mike got me a charm bracelet with a cat and fireman’s helmet on it to “symbolize [my] two favorite guys”.

But then it was time to give Maggie the heartfelt gift Frank had made for her. She opened it and started crying before thanking Sarah and Frank. It was very weird to see her show an emotion other than angry annoyance.

“This…this really means a lot to me dad.” She said looking at the cover which had a picture of her and Betty on it.

“It was really Faith’s idea.” Frank said.

I could feel Maggie’s mood shift almost immediately. She gave me a very cold, dirty look.

“Oh, of course it was.” Maggie said.

“Oh, that’s not really true I-” I said but Maggie cut me off.

“Well, Jamie why don’t you start throwing away the wrapping paper, I’m going to go put the apple crisp in the oven.”

She got up and left for the kitchen. She left the book on the couch.

About an hour and a half later, the kids were put to bed, Frank was snoring in his recliner and was out like a light, Mike was watching “A Christmas Story” on television with Jamie, and Sarah and Claire were sitting by the tree talking about their gifts.

I joined Maggie in the kitchen to help her clean up after we all ate her apple crisp and drank a bunch of cider.

“You really don’t have to do that.” She said.

“I want to. It’s not a problem. You’ve been in here almost all night, you deserve a break.”

“No, what I want is a break from YOU.” She sneered.

“Um, excuse me?” I said with complete shock.

“Ever since my mother died you have basically inserted yourself into this family to replace her and, frankly, it’s disgusting.”

“Maggie, I am not trying to replace your mother.”

“Oh, really? You’re basically acting like Sarah’s mother!” She shouted.

Claire and Sarah came into the kitchen to see why Maggie was yelling.

“You have done nothing but insert yourself into our family business without even being invited.”

“Maggie, you’re being more than a little rude.” Claire said.

“Shut up, Claire, this has nothing to do with you.” Maggie yelled.

“It does, too! We’re part of this family, too, and neither one of us has a problem with Faith being here.” Sarah declared. It was the first time I’d ever seen her stand up to Maggie about anything.

“Sarah, you’re just a child, you have no idea the kind of person SHE is.” Maggie said.

Claire and Sarah both deflated at Maggie’s admonishments.

“Okay, you know, what, Maggie? I have never met someone as toxic as you in my life. I have been incredibly accommodating to you and the pain you must be in about Betty dying, but I am not going to let you treat me like garbage anymore. This is ridiculous. Mike and I are dating, if you have a problem with it, you’ll have to keep it to yourself because I will not allow you to steamroll me like you do to your family members.” I said seething.

“My mother may have liked you, Faith, but I see right through you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I said.

“My mother had no idea what a trashy whore you are; just like she never had any idea about any of Mike’s other girlfriends.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I said.

“Oh, really? Are you denying screwing my brother during my mother’s WAKE?” She screamed.

Sarah and Claire looked at me with shock and disgust; then Jamie and Mike came to the kitchen and I absolutely wanted to die from humiliation.

“Faith, what’s going on?” Mike said taking in the scene of us arguing.

“Oh, your sister just decided to tell everyone about our sex life. Would you like to say something?” I said standing back to look at him and crossing my arms over my chest.

Mike looked at me with confusion.

“She just announced that we had sex during your mother’s wake.” I said.

“Whoa.” Jamie said looking at Mike.

“Go upstairs and check on the kids.” Maggie snapped at Jamie. He left reluctantly, looking back between Mike and I.

"How did she know that?" I asked Mike.

"I didn't tell her!" He said.

“I heard you two. I came to get Faith to ask her to help me in the kitchen and instead I got to see...well...hear what a trashy whore she is. Mike she has done nothing but act like she’s here to replace mom. AND she’s a trashy whore.”

“Hey, whoa, WHOA.” Mike said trying to step in.

“She took your little sister shopping for funeral clothes, she went Christmas shopping with dad, she disrespected our mother’s memory, she took OUR places by our mother’s death bed!!!” Maggie was hysterical.

I looked at Mike. His silence was deafening.

“I…should go.” I said quietly, “Merry Christmas, guys.” I said to Sarah and Claire who were still looking at me as if they had no idea who I was.

I collected my things and headed out of the house, thankful that Frank was still sleeping in his chair and hadn’t heard any of what was said in the kitchen. After pulling my coat, hat, and scarf on in the windy snow outside, I pulled my phone out and ordered a cab. I tried to fight my tears; I refused to let Maggie see me even sniffle.

“Faith, wait!” Mike yelled after me. He had run out of the house with just a sweater on.

“What?” I said with exhaustion. I crossed my arms and stood on the curb, refusing to look at him.

“What Maggie said was-” He put his hand on my shoulder.

“You know, I actually don’t really care what Maggie said.” I said spinning around and shrugging his hand off of me, “I’m a little more pissed off at what you DIDN’T say. SHE made me feel humiliated and unwelcome, but YOU…YOU made me feel even worse than that, which is funny because I didn’t think that was going to be possible after she announced my sexual activities in front of your entire family and called me a trashy whore. TWICE.”

I wasn’t even bothering to keep my voice down. I couldn’t believe Mike basically left me out to dry like that. I was so incredibly angry and also horrifically embarrassed.

“Do you think I’m trying to replace your mom?” I asked him.

Mike was quiet for just a beat too long and I became even angrier.

“No, but-”

“Mike, you KNOW I only did that stuff for your family because I care about YOU. I wanted to make things easier for YOU. I took Sarah out to buy a dress for your mother’s funeral because I knew you were having a hard time dealing with the funeral arrangements. I did it for YOU. Even the incident at the wake I did for YOU. I didn’t want to, if you recall! I have been dealing with your sister treating me like crap because I didn’t want to upset YOU and drag you into it! I suggested the recipe book to Frank because I thought it would ease the tension with Maggie and make things easier for YOU! I went to the hospital to be there for YOU. I was by your side so you could lean on me when you needed to!”

“Faith, listen, I know that, okay? I don’t’ think you’re trying to replace my mom. I know you just did all of that stuff for me, but-”

“BUT!? BUT!?” I screamed.

Mike backed away from me and tried to calm me down.

“Listen,” he said, “I’m not blaming you I just think that maybe my sisters and dad were trying to use you as a replacement and that’s OUR fault, not yours. Maggie should be angry with us, and I’m going to talk to her about it but I think all of us just sort of need to take a break from…you.”

“Oh.” I said suddenly quiet. I blinked, “Oh, you’re breaking up with me.”

The cab turned the corner and started driving towards the house.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying…I just think me and my family need to deal with this on our own…as a family, where we won’t be tempted to use you like a dead-mom-replacement. I think you and I should…go on a break. I think I need some time to deal with this on my own since-”

I opened the door to the cab and stared at Mike.

“You want some time away from me? FINE. Take as much time as you need, Mike. Don’t fucking call me again.” I said throwing the charm bracelet he gave me just a few hours ago at his chest.

I slammed the cab door and barked my address to the driver. I sat there in absolute rage and couldn’t even call any of my friends to tell them what happened because it was Christmas Eve and they were spending time with their families. I wiped away a tear that had escaped as soon as I got into the back of the cab. I sat there looking at the scarf Betty Made for me hanging around my neck. It was a gorgeous cerulean blue embroidered with shiny, white silk in the shape of snowflakes. I started crying harder. Betty’s death and the fact that Mike and I broke up on Christmas Eve all hit me at once and I was a sobbing mess. The cab driver took my money and was nice enough to ignore the fact that I was sobbing.

When I got to my apartment, the door was unlocked and all of the lights were on. Someone was there.

Wrap It Up!

I got a phone call from Frank mid-morning. I was pretty surprised.

“Hi Frank. Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” he said with trepidation.

“What’s going on?”

“I…need your help, Faith. I need you to come shopping with me.”

I was a little confused but agreed to go with him. He picked me up about half an hour later and headed to the mall. In the car I asked him some more questions.

“What do we need to get from the mall?” I asked.

Frank pulled out a worn piece of paper and handed it to me.

“Betty would do all the Christmas shopping for the kids. She got most of it done,” he said indicating the check marks on the list, “but not all of it  before she…and I have no idea what I’m doing or where to get most of that stuff. She always did it and the kids are going to have a hard enough Christmas without her so I just…”

“You just wanted to make it as normal as possible.” I said quietly.

“Right.”

I perused the list while Frank tried to find a parking place. The mall was so busy and we’d be lucky to find the gifts that Betty still had to buy since it was so close to Christmas. I wasn’t sure we’d be able to get everything.

After searching for a parking place for what seemed like an hour, Frank and I high-tailed it into the mall.

“Okay, well, we should probably go to a bookstore to get the book for Sarah on here and I think there’s a department store that sells sweaters in Mike’s size.”

It took us four hours but Frank and I were able to get everything except one last gift for Maggie. We sat down to take stock of it all and make sure we didn’t miss anything (and also eat lunch because OMG I was starving).

“Why didn’t they wrap anything?” Frank asked over a French fry.

I felt bad for Frank. It was obvious he was so out of his element with trying to run the holiday like Betty would have. I don’t think he really did anything but decorate the outside of the house and yard and haul up the Christmas tree every year. It dawned on me that Frank had probably never even wrapped a gift and wouldn’t know how to do it like Betty did (there are gifts sitting under the tree that have already been wrapped by her and, you guys, they are like works of art; it’s obvious Betty really loved the holidays).

“Oh, um, there’s a wrapping table somewhere around here, we could have them do it.” I said sipping my hot chocolate.

Frank looked relieved at my suggestion.

“It’s a blessing that Maggie is going to cook the dinner; I think I’d kill someone if I tried.” Frank joked, “I feel bad that we couldn’t find that cookbook for her.”

“You know,” I said, “I bet Maggie would probably really appreciate it if you gave her a compilation of all of Betty’s recipes. I think it would mean more than a normal cookbook.”

“Betty does have a recipe box. I could get Sarah to help me type them up on the computer and put them in a nice organizer…” Frank said.

We got done eating and headed over to the wrapping table set up in the mall by the Santa Clause meet and greet area. I think Frank really liked my idea. He was telling me how he planned to decorate the cover of the binder and put a picture of Maggie and Betty on the inside. It was touching to see how excited he was to make such a gift for his daughter. We swung by a scrapbooking store to buy some supplies for Frank to make it once we were done at the mall.

When we got home, Frank snuck into the kitchen to grab Betty’s recipe box and then headed up to Sarah’s room to work on it. I started putting our gifts under the tree.

“Where were you guys?” Claire asked coming around a corner with a cup of tea.

“Oh, your dad just had some last minute gifts to pick up.” I said bending down to put one last gift under the tree.

“You guys went Christmas shopping?” Maggie asked me. She was standing next to Claire.

“Um. Yeah, didn’t he tell you?” I said feeling uncomfortable.

“No, of course he didn’t tell us, that’s clearly why both of us asked where you went.” Maggie snapped, “If he’d told us he needed to go to the mall, one of US would have taken him, obviously.”

“Oh, well, he had to buy gifts for all of you, so he probably didn’t want you to see what he was buying for you and ruin Christmas.”

“Oh, it’s already been ruined.” Maggie said walking into the kitchen in anger.

I looked at Claire stunned. She smiled at me sadly before sitting on the couch.

“She doesn’t like me very much, does she?” I asked sitting next to her.

“Don’t take it personally…Maggie is….very protective of all of us, including Mike. She’s never been very welcoming to his girlfriends. Maggie has…she’s become very cynical about Mike’s girlfriends, I think, but she’ll come around to you, eventually. Things are just…it would have been better had mom not died right before we met you and right before the holidays, that’s all.”

About an hour later I left and went back to my apartment to wrap a few gifts and hang out with Murphy (Molly left yesterday for her mom’s place in Michigan). I’m going over to Frank’s house for Christmas Eve tomorrow and I’ll also be going over there for Christmas day, too. I have a bad feeling about being there, especially with Maggie’s chilliness towards me but I think it’s important for me to be there for Mike.

The Longest Day

Frank decided to have a funeral for Betty but to get her cremated after and keep her urn. He told Mike that he’d decide if he wanted to scatter her ashes once some time had passed. Her funeral was going to be held at a funeral home and then there was going to be a funeral procession to the crematorium. Betty’s coffin would be dropped off, a priest would say a few words, and then everyone was invited to the wake at Mike’s parents’ house.

Mike wanted me to ride in the family car with him but I had some trepidation about that. I had a feeling Maggie wouldn’t like it but I didn’t want to explain that to Mike because he’s been dealing with so much; the last thing he’d need is me complaining about his grieving sister. I tried to get out of it, regardless.

“Are you sure there will be room for me? I know Maggie’s husband and her two kids will be there, too.”

“They’re going to be riding in his rental car.” Mike said.

I couldn’t argue with that. We left dressed in the appropriate attire.

“Are you okay?” I asked Mike while he drove to his parents’ house to meet everyone before heading to the funeral home in the family car.

“It’s going to be a long day.” He acknowledged.

I smiled sadly at him and put my hand on his knee. Eventually we pulled up to the house and I waited in the living room while Mike went into the garage and started bringing in cases of soda for the wake later that day. There was a sense of chaos with Maggie storming in and out of the kitchen grumbling about how she got stuck cooking all the food for the wake. Sarah couldn’t find her shoes and Claire misplaced her coat while Frank was struggling to tie his tie.

“Frank, let me help you with that.” I said smiling. He walked over and I began tying it for him.

“You’re a one in a million, you know that?” He said eyeing me closely, like he’d only just seen me for the first time.

I laughed, “Why do you say that?”

“You’re not like any of the others. There’s something special about you and it’s not just your kindness or your compassion. Betty saw that. She didn’t know you for very long, Faith, but she loved you.”

I wiped away a tear and tried to smile at him. I didn’t know what to say but I was incredibly touched. Maggie walked in as I opened my mouth to thank Frank and tell him how sorry I was, again, but she spoke before I could get the words out.

“Honestly, dad, shouldn’t you have learned how to do that yourself by now? Faith isn’t this family’s personal stylist.”

“It’s fine,” I said trying to diffuse the situation, “I offered.”

Maggie shouted for Sarah and Claire to get downstairs before letting her husband and two children inside, they’d just arrived. She gave her husband a kiss on the cheek and then rushed back into the kitchen mumbling something about deli meat.

Her husband and kids stood there awkwardly looking at Frank and I.

“Uh…hi. I’m Jamie, Maggie’s husband. This is Annabelle and Grant.” He said shaking my hand and motioning to his two children.

“Hi, I’m Faith. I’m Mike’s girlfriend. I wish we were meeting under happier circumstances.”

“Likewise.” Jamie said.

Within a few minutes we all packed into the family car and headed over to the funeral home where family friends, relatives, and other loved ones began congregating.

Betty’s service was short and sweet. It was a closed casket but it was beautifully done. The eulogy was given by the priest and he talked about a mother’s love and how it stays with children even when mothers can’t be there physically. I cried because it made me think about how much I love my own mother and how hard losing a parent is; my mind kept wandering to thoughts of Sarah and how she was going to cope with all of this.

The funeral procession to the crematorium was somewhat uncomfortable. Sarah wanted to sit next to me in the family car and I think that really bothered Maggie, she shot me dirty looks while we slowly moved down the road. Mike was a pallbearer for Betty’s casket and so I stood next to Sarah while we watched him, and several others, move the casket inside the crematorium. The doors closed as the priest said a final prayer. It was time to say goodbye.

Once we were back at the house and waiting for the guests to arrive, I went into the kitchen.

“Maggie, do you need any help? I’d be glad t-”

“No. I’ve got it handled. Can you tell Mike that he should put some more ice in the coolers for the sodas?”

“Sure. If you need help later, I’d love to help.” I said on my way to find Mike.

Once the guests arrived, Frank played some of Betty’s favorite music and Maggie started laying out fruit platters and cheese plates. People were mingling with sodas and coffee and I eventually found Mike.

“Hey, your sister wanted y-”Mike grabbed my hand and led me upstairs to his bedroom.

“I can’t do this Faith.” He was upset.

“Do what?” I asked with concern as he shut the door behind me.

“Listen to all of these people tell me how sorry they are and how sad they are for me. I just can’t listen to it and I can’t thank them for telling me they’re sorry she died. I just….I can’t do this.”

“Hey….it’s okay… come here.”  I said pulling him into a hug.

I patted his hair and then suddenly pulled away from him. His hands moved down to my ass.

“Mike…it’s your mother’s wake. We are not…”

“Faith, please…I just don’t want to feel this way anymore. Please.” He started kissing my neck.

“What if someone hears…” I asked as he pulled me towards his racecar bed.

“No one will hear us or see us, I locked the door. Please, I can’t do this anymore.”

“Oh my God, Mike, this is so disrespectful.” His hands were up my dress.

He started crying.

“Shhh….it’s okay.” I said. I was straddling him on his racecar bed.

“Faith, please….”

I can’t believe I’m actually typing this out but we had sex in Mike’s racecar bed during his mother’s wake and I feel so gross about it but I didn’t know how else to help him at that point. We will definitely be having a conversation about that, later, though. He has been using sex to avoid dealing with his mother’s death and it’s not fair to use me in that way and it’s not fair to him because it’s not healthy for him to deal with his feelings like this.

When he finished, I pulled my tights and underwear back up and straightened my clothes. He cleaned himself up and then straightened his clothes, too, before unlocking the door. I left and headed downstairs to grab some food and check on Sarah. She was in the dining room with a plate. Maggie had a sandwich bar set up in the kitchen for people to make their own sandwiches with different meats, cheeses, breads, and toppings. I was actually really impressed. I couldn’t believe she was able to pull everything together with such short notice. As far as I knew, they hadn’t decided on the wake being at Mike’s parents’ house when I left the other day.

I made up a plate and sat next to Sarah. She laid her head on my shoulder in silence.

“I just want it to be over.” She said after awhile.

“It’ll be over soon.” I said.

“Faith, do you think I could maybe come hang out with you sometime…just to…you know…get away from here if I need to until I go back to school?”

“Sarah, Faith has more important things to deal than hang out with a teenager.” Maggie said, she was carrying a bag of ice, “Oh, Faith, thanks for telling Mike to fill the coolers with more ice, I took care of it since he didn’t.”

I was so shocked at Maggie’s rudeness. I didn’t mind that she was being rude to me but I didn’t like how she was treating Sarah.

“I’m sorry, Maggie, I haven’t seen him.” I said.

She left to go into the kitchen. I waited until she was out of ear shot and then turned to Sarah.

“You can come visit me whenever you want.” I said. She put my number into her phone, gave me a hug, and then went upstairs to her room. I wanted to leave but felt obligated to stay for Mike. I tried to find a place out of Maggie’s way and ended up talking to Jamie and his two children. Annabelle and Grant are absolutely adorable. Grant is 7 and Annabelle is 5. I think she was probably confused about what happened to Betty. 

Jamie had to keep explaining that grandma had gone up to heaven.

“We tried telling her that grandma went to sleep but I heard that can make little kids afraid to go to sleep.” Jamie said to me. We watched Grant and Annabelle play with some small toys Jamie had brought with him to keep them occupied.

“How’s Grant dealing with it?” I asked thoughtfully.

“He’s been really quiet. I think he understands more about what happened than Annabelle does but he just doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings about it.”

I nodded. Jamie seems like a great dad and husband, he’s kind and warm and basically the opposite of Maggie. I know it’s not the nicest thing to think about but my conversation with Jamie made me wonder how he could be with someone who was just so…mean. I obviously didn’t ask but I’d be lying if I didn’t say the thought hadn’t crossed my mind.

“Faith?” Claire came up to me and asked if I could start helping her clean up. The guests were trickling out and I began collecting cups and plates from around the living room and dining rooms while Claire followed me around with a garbage bag.

“Wow, Claire, I can’t believe you’re actually cleaning things up, especially since you never clean up after yourself. “ Maggie stood in the archway to the dining room with her arms crossed and a smirk across her face.

Claire rolled her eyes and kept cleaning.

After about an hour, everything was put away, cleaned up, or taken out to the garbage. I saw Mike helping 

Maggie clean up in the kitchen while Claire and I roamed for cups and dirty napkins.

“Ready to go?” He asked as I put a final garbage bag in the trashcan.

“Yes.” I said with exhaustion. I stayed with Mike at his apartment for the night but could barely stay awake once I got changed out of my funeral clothes.

“You were right.” I said. I was laying on the couch with my head resting on Mike’s lap.

“About what?” He asked.

“It WAS a long day.”

M

Mike didn’t want me to meet his sisters for the first time at Betty’s funeral so he invited me to his parents’ house while they made the funeral arrangements, which was obviously not ideal but nothing about the past few days has been ideal. I wore a dark outfit (dark long-sleeved sweater, dark jeans, boots, and my black peacoat) and prepared myself as Mike and I walked to the front door. We didn’t knock, just walked in.

Frank was sitting on the living room couch with a young woman in her early thirties; they were looking at a book with coffins in it. She had shoulder-length dark brown hair and wore a dark blue dress with small flowers on it. Her eyes were ringed with exhaustion. Frank looked at me and gave me a sad smile before looking back at the book.

“Maggie, this is Faith,” Mike said to her, “Faith, this is my older sister, Maggie.”

I smiled at her and she smiled back, although it was tinged with sadness.

“I’m so sorry.” I said to her.

She nodded and then went back to the book with Frank. Mike walked me into the kitchen where Sarah was sitting at the kitchen island lined with bar stools. Another woman was sitting with her, she had a cup of tea in front of her that she was staring at but she looked up with red, puffy eyes as Mike and I entered.

“Faith, you’ve already met Sarah, but, this is Claire,” He gestured to the other woman, “Claire, this is Faith.”

Claire got up slowly and pulled me in for a hug. She had dark blonde hair like Sarah’s but hers was much longer, it went to the middle of her back. She looked to be in her mid to late twenties and was wearing a pair of skinny jeans and an oversized dark gray sweater.

“I am so sorry.” I said, hugging her back.

Claire sniffled and thanked me.

“It’s so nice to meet you.” She said holding my hands, “I just wish it was under better circumstances.”

I nodded, “Me too. Your mother was a wonderful woman.”

Sarah came and snuggled into my side for a hug, which I obliged.

“I’m sorry, Faith, I’ve barely slept…” Claire said.

“Oh, that’s fine, please, do whatever you need.”

Mike hugged Claire before she headed up to take a nap.

“I’m going to go help my dad and Maggie…” Mike said to me quietly. I was still holding Sarah so I just nodded and patted her hair as he left us in the kitchen.

“Sarah, are you hungry?” I asked pulling away from her to look at her face.

She nodded sadly.

“How does grilled cheese sound?” I asked.

Sarah perked up a bit and I got to work. Within a few minutes we were sharing a grilled cheese at the kitchen island. We ate in silence. What do you say to a 19-year-old girl who’s just lost her mother?

“I…I’m going to major in dance.” She said finally, “I was going to tell her when I got home for Christmas break, I know she would’ve been happy.”

“She would’ve been proud.” I said putting my arm around her.

“Um…I don’t know what I’m supposed to wear.” Sarah said after a few moments.

“Well, usually people wear nice clothes, like the things you’d wear to church, and usually in dark colors. Do you have anything like that?” I asked her.

She shook her head and started to cry. I pulled her to me and rocked her.

“Shhhh. It’s okay. We’ll just go get you something, okay?” I wiped away her tears and she nodded.

Maggie walked in and saw us. She walked to the fridge and pulled out a soda before sighing and picking up the tea cup Claire left behind.

“She never cleans up after herself. And who made this mess in the sink?” She said looking at the pan I used for the grilled cheese.

“I’m sorry, that was me, I’ll make sure to clean it up before we leave. I’ll take care of the cup, too.” I said getting up.

“No. You’re a guest here, I’ll take care of it.” Maggie said waving me away angrily.

I didn’t want to insist on her letting me clean up but it was awkward for me to stand there and watch her fret about dishes so I changed the subject.

“Maggie, Sarah and I were going to go out and get her a dress, would you like us to stop and pick up some groceries or dinner on our way home?”

Maggie shot Sarah a dirty look, “You’re going shopping for clothes at a time like this? Honestly, Sarah, what is wrong with you?”

Sarah looked hurt and mumbled something.

“What? Speak up!”

“The dress is for the funeral.”  I said.

Maggie gave me a cold look and then shrugged nonchalantly, “I’ll make you a list; just let me clean this mess up.”

I nodded and then Sarah and I walked into the living room.

“Dad, maybe we should revisit the idea of cremation. Then we could keep the urn here or put it in her garden out back…”

“Your sister said no to that.”

“But she…hey…” Mike said seeing Sarah and I. He stood up, sensing that I wanted to talk to him.

“Sarah and I wanted to go get her something to wear for the funeral. Can I borrow your car?”

“Yeah, sure.” Mike dug in his pockets for his keys before handing them to me.

“Frank, would you like us to get anything for dinner on our way home?”

Frank asked me to pick up a fried chicken meal from KFC for everyone and said he’d ask Mike to text me how much to buy. I nodded, gave him a hug, and then told Sarah to go get her coat. She ran upstairs just as Maggie came out of the kitchen with the list of groceries.

“This should get us through the holiday. Mom had most of the stuff already bought for Christmas dinner but not everything.”

“Okay,” I said, “I’ll be sure to get all of this. I’m stopping to pick up fried chicken for dinner so, if you’re hungry be sure to let Mike know. He’s going to text me how much to get.”

“Fried chicken?” Maggie asked with disdain, “Let me guess, dad, you asked for that? Are you trying to kill yourself?”

I tried to keep the shock from Maggie’s comment off my face but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was relieved to see Sarah bounding down the steps, ready to go.

We left and hit a few stores before finding a sensible and age appropriate dress for the funeral.

“We should probably get you some tights so your legs aren’t cold.” I said looking around the mall.

“Okay. Faith….?”

I looked at her.

“Thank you for doing this.”

I nodded, “Of course.”

When we got back to Mike’s parents’ house laden with groceries and fried chicken, I could hear voices from outside the front door.

“That is NOT what she would have wanted Mike! I’ve already explained that I’ll pay for the burial plot!”

“It’s not about the money, Maggie! Mom didn’t leave any kind of instructions for this and you know how much she enjoyed gardening!”

Sarah and I quietly walked into the kitchen as Mike, Maggie, and Frank continued to argue. I put the groceries away with Sarah’s help and made a plate of chicken up for Frank. Sarah sat down at the dining room table with some food.

“Thank you, sweetie.” Frank said as I handed it to him and sat on the arm of the couch.

Mike and Maggie were still fighting, although not as loudly. Claire sleepily walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where I could hear silverware and plates being pulled out of cabinets.

I didn’t want to interrupt Mike and Maggie, so I left his keys on the coffee table where he saw them and then wandered back into the kitchen. I was really uncomfortable, like I was witnessing something that was intensely private. And the argument about what to do with Betty just intensified. Claire eventually joined into the argument but I sent Sarah up to bed before calling a cab.

I motioned to Mike that I was leaving, it was really late, and he came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m sorry you had to see this, today.”

“It’s fine.” I said, “But I should really go, are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

I nodded and then saw my cab from the front window, so I waved to Maggie, Claire, and Frank who all barely noticed me due to the argument they were having over the obituary.

I feel bad for leaving Mike with them but there was really nothing I could do for him. It would have been massively inappropriate for me to try and insert myself into such an argument or try to mediate it. And, really, I don’t think Maggie would have allowed that, anyway.