Halves

“What? Mike, I’ve met your all of your sisters, she’s not-”

“She’s my half-sister, Faith.”

I sat down heavily on Mike’s couch and let out a deep breath before looking at him with all the confusion in the world painted on my face. He sighed and put his hands together. I could tell he was choosing his words very carefully.

The Storm Inside

“You don’t have to do that.” I said trying to stop him but he held the front door open for me and stood next to me. I could feel the heat from his body.

“I’m not going to let you go out in this weather. Let’s go.”

I walked into Mike’s hallway and followed him to the elevator. We went to the lower level parking garage and got to his car.

“Wait…is this yours?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Mike said unlocking my car door.

“Is this…”

“Yeah, it’s the one I was working on with my dad. I got rid of my Honda.”

“Wow.” I said taking in the cherry red ’69 Mustang.

I slipped into the passenger seat and buckled up as Mike started it up. I wish I could say that the ride back to my apartment was magical but it wasn’t. It was awkward as hell.

Wrap It Up!

I got a phone call from Frank mid-morning. I was pretty surprised.

“Hi Frank. Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” he said with trepidation.

“What’s going on?”

“I…need your help, Faith. I need you to come shopping with me.”

I was a little confused but agreed to go with him. He picked me up about half an hour later and headed to the mall. In the car I asked him some more questions.

“What do we need to get from the mall?” I asked.

Frank pulled out a worn piece of paper and handed it to me.

“Betty would do all the Christmas shopping for the kids. She got most of it done,” he said indicating the check marks on the list, “but not all of it  before she…and I have no idea what I’m doing or where to get most of that stuff. She always did it and the kids are going to have a hard enough Christmas without her so I just…”

“You just wanted to make it as normal as possible.” I said quietly.

“Right.”

I perused the list while Frank tried to find a parking place. The mall was so busy and we’d be lucky to find the gifts that Betty still had to buy since it was so close to Christmas. I wasn’t sure we’d be able to get everything.

After searching for a parking place for what seemed like an hour, Frank and I high-tailed it into the mall.

“Okay, well, we should probably go to a bookstore to get the book for Sarah on here and I think there’s a department store that sells sweaters in Mike’s size.”

It took us four hours but Frank and I were able to get everything except one last gift for Maggie. We sat down to take stock of it all and make sure we didn’t miss anything (and also eat lunch because OMG I was starving).

“Why didn’t they wrap anything?” Frank asked over a French fry.

I felt bad for Frank. It was obvious he was so out of his element with trying to run the holiday like Betty would have. I don’t think he really did anything but decorate the outside of the house and yard and haul up the Christmas tree every year. It dawned on me that Frank had probably never even wrapped a gift and wouldn’t know how to do it like Betty did (there are gifts sitting under the tree that have already been wrapped by her and, you guys, they are like works of art; it’s obvious Betty really loved the holidays).

“Oh, um, there’s a wrapping table somewhere around here, we could have them do it.” I said sipping my hot chocolate.

Frank looked relieved at my suggestion.

“It’s a blessing that Maggie is going to cook the dinner; I think I’d kill someone if I tried.” Frank joked, “I feel bad that we couldn’t find that cookbook for her.”

“You know,” I said, “I bet Maggie would probably really appreciate it if you gave her a compilation of all of Betty’s recipes. I think it would mean more than a normal cookbook.”

“Betty does have a recipe box. I could get Sarah to help me type them up on the computer and put them in a nice organizer…” Frank said.

We got done eating and headed over to the wrapping table set up in the mall by the Santa Clause meet and greet area. I think Frank really liked my idea. He was telling me how he planned to decorate the cover of the binder and put a picture of Maggie and Betty on the inside. It was touching to see how excited he was to make such a gift for his daughter. We swung by a scrapbooking store to buy some supplies for Frank to make it once we were done at the mall.

When we got home, Frank snuck into the kitchen to grab Betty’s recipe box and then headed up to Sarah’s room to work on it. I started putting our gifts under the tree.

“Where were you guys?” Claire asked coming around a corner with a cup of tea.

“Oh, your dad just had some last minute gifts to pick up.” I said bending down to put one last gift under the tree.

“You guys went Christmas shopping?” Maggie asked me. She was standing next to Claire.

“Um. Yeah, didn’t he tell you?” I said feeling uncomfortable.

“No, of course he didn’t tell us, that’s clearly why both of us asked where you went.” Maggie snapped, “If he’d told us he needed to go to the mall, one of US would have taken him, obviously.”

“Oh, well, he had to buy gifts for all of you, so he probably didn’t want you to see what he was buying for you and ruin Christmas.”

“Oh, it’s already been ruined.” Maggie said walking into the kitchen in anger.

I looked at Claire stunned. She smiled at me sadly before sitting on the couch.

“She doesn’t like me very much, does she?” I asked sitting next to her.

“Don’t take it personally…Maggie is….very protective of all of us, including Mike. She’s never been very welcoming to his girlfriends. Maggie has…she’s become very cynical about Mike’s girlfriends, I think, but she’ll come around to you, eventually. Things are just…it would have been better had mom not died right before we met you and right before the holidays, that’s all.”

About an hour later I left and went back to my apartment to wrap a few gifts and hang out with Murphy (Molly left yesterday for her mom’s place in Michigan). I’m going over to Frank’s house for Christmas Eve tomorrow and I’ll also be going over there for Christmas day, too. I have a bad feeling about being there, especially with Maggie’s chilliness towards me but I think it’s important for me to be there for Mike.

The Longest Day

Frank decided to have a funeral for Betty but to get her cremated after and keep her urn. He told Mike that he’d decide if he wanted to scatter her ashes once some time had passed. Her funeral was going to be held at a funeral home and then there was going to be a funeral procession to the crematorium. Betty’s coffin would be dropped off, a priest would say a few words, and then everyone was invited to the wake at Mike’s parents’ house.

Mike wanted me to ride in the family car with him but I had some trepidation about that. I had a feeling Maggie wouldn’t like it but I didn’t want to explain that to Mike because he’s been dealing with so much; the last thing he’d need is me complaining about his grieving sister. I tried to get out of it, regardless.

“Are you sure there will be room for me? I know Maggie’s husband and her two kids will be there, too.”

“They’re going to be riding in his rental car.” Mike said.

I couldn’t argue with that. We left dressed in the appropriate attire.

“Are you okay?” I asked Mike while he drove to his parents’ house to meet everyone before heading to the funeral home in the family car.

“It’s going to be a long day.” He acknowledged.

I smiled sadly at him and put my hand on his knee. Eventually we pulled up to the house and I waited in the living room while Mike went into the garage and started bringing in cases of soda for the wake later that day. There was a sense of chaos with Maggie storming in and out of the kitchen grumbling about how she got stuck cooking all the food for the wake. Sarah couldn’t find her shoes and Claire misplaced her coat while Frank was struggling to tie his tie.

“Frank, let me help you with that.” I said smiling. He walked over and I began tying it for him.

“You’re a one in a million, you know that?” He said eyeing me closely, like he’d only just seen me for the first time.

I laughed, “Why do you say that?”

“You’re not like any of the others. There’s something special about you and it’s not just your kindness or your compassion. Betty saw that. She didn’t know you for very long, Faith, but she loved you.”

I wiped away a tear and tried to smile at him. I didn’t know what to say but I was incredibly touched. Maggie walked in as I opened my mouth to thank Frank and tell him how sorry I was, again, but she spoke before I could get the words out.

“Honestly, dad, shouldn’t you have learned how to do that yourself by now? Faith isn’t this family’s personal stylist.”

“It’s fine,” I said trying to diffuse the situation, “I offered.”

Maggie shouted for Sarah and Claire to get downstairs before letting her husband and two children inside, they’d just arrived. She gave her husband a kiss on the cheek and then rushed back into the kitchen mumbling something about deli meat.

Her husband and kids stood there awkwardly looking at Frank and I.

“Uh…hi. I’m Jamie, Maggie’s husband. This is Annabelle and Grant.” He said shaking my hand and motioning to his two children.

“Hi, I’m Faith. I’m Mike’s girlfriend. I wish we were meeting under happier circumstances.”

“Likewise.” Jamie said.

Within a few minutes we all packed into the family car and headed over to the funeral home where family friends, relatives, and other loved ones began congregating.

Betty’s service was short and sweet. It was a closed casket but it was beautifully done. The eulogy was given by the priest and he talked about a mother’s love and how it stays with children even when mothers can’t be there physically. I cried because it made me think about how much I love my own mother and how hard losing a parent is; my mind kept wandering to thoughts of Sarah and how she was going to cope with all of this.

The funeral procession to the crematorium was somewhat uncomfortable. Sarah wanted to sit next to me in the family car and I think that really bothered Maggie, she shot me dirty looks while we slowly moved down the road. Mike was a pallbearer for Betty’s casket and so I stood next to Sarah while we watched him, and several others, move the casket inside the crematorium. The doors closed as the priest said a final prayer. It was time to say goodbye.

Once we were back at the house and waiting for the guests to arrive, I went into the kitchen.

“Maggie, do you need any help? I’d be glad t-”

“No. I’ve got it handled. Can you tell Mike that he should put some more ice in the coolers for the sodas?”

“Sure. If you need help later, I’d love to help.” I said on my way to find Mike.

Once the guests arrived, Frank played some of Betty’s favorite music and Maggie started laying out fruit platters and cheese plates. People were mingling with sodas and coffee and I eventually found Mike.

“Hey, your sister wanted y-”Mike grabbed my hand and led me upstairs to his bedroom.

“I can’t do this Faith.” He was upset.

“Do what?” I asked with concern as he shut the door behind me.

“Listen to all of these people tell me how sorry they are and how sad they are for me. I just can’t listen to it and I can’t thank them for telling me they’re sorry she died. I just….I can’t do this.”

“Hey….it’s okay… come here.”  I said pulling him into a hug.

I patted his hair and then suddenly pulled away from him. His hands moved down to my ass.

“Mike…it’s your mother’s wake. We are not…”

“Faith, please…I just don’t want to feel this way anymore. Please.” He started kissing my neck.

“What if someone hears…” I asked as he pulled me towards his racecar bed.

“No one will hear us or see us, I locked the door. Please, I can’t do this anymore.”

“Oh my God, Mike, this is so disrespectful.” His hands were up my dress.

He started crying.

“Shhh….it’s okay.” I said. I was straddling him on his racecar bed.

“Faith, please….”

I can’t believe I’m actually typing this out but we had sex in Mike’s racecar bed during his mother’s wake and I feel so gross about it but I didn’t know how else to help him at that point. We will definitely be having a conversation about that, later, though. He has been using sex to avoid dealing with his mother’s death and it’s not fair to use me in that way and it’s not fair to him because it’s not healthy for him to deal with his feelings like this.

When he finished, I pulled my tights and underwear back up and straightened my clothes. He cleaned himself up and then straightened his clothes, too, before unlocking the door. I left and headed downstairs to grab some food and check on Sarah. She was in the dining room with a plate. Maggie had a sandwich bar set up in the kitchen for people to make their own sandwiches with different meats, cheeses, breads, and toppings. I was actually really impressed. I couldn’t believe she was able to pull everything together with such short notice. As far as I knew, they hadn’t decided on the wake being at Mike’s parents’ house when I left the other day.

I made up a plate and sat next to Sarah. She laid her head on my shoulder in silence.

“I just want it to be over.” She said after awhile.

“It’ll be over soon.” I said.

“Faith, do you think I could maybe come hang out with you sometime…just to…you know…get away from here if I need to until I go back to school?”

“Sarah, Faith has more important things to deal than hang out with a teenager.” Maggie said, she was carrying a bag of ice, “Oh, Faith, thanks for telling Mike to fill the coolers with more ice, I took care of it since he didn’t.”

I was so shocked at Maggie’s rudeness. I didn’t mind that she was being rude to me but I didn’t like how she was treating Sarah.

“I’m sorry, Maggie, I haven’t seen him.” I said.

She left to go into the kitchen. I waited until she was out of ear shot and then turned to Sarah.

“You can come visit me whenever you want.” I said. She put my number into her phone, gave me a hug, and then went upstairs to her room. I wanted to leave but felt obligated to stay for Mike. I tried to find a place out of Maggie’s way and ended up talking to Jamie and his two children. Annabelle and Grant are absolutely adorable. Grant is 7 and Annabelle is 5. I think she was probably confused about what happened to Betty. 

Jamie had to keep explaining that grandma had gone up to heaven.

“We tried telling her that grandma went to sleep but I heard that can make little kids afraid to go to sleep.” Jamie said to me. We watched Grant and Annabelle play with some small toys Jamie had brought with him to keep them occupied.

“How’s Grant dealing with it?” I asked thoughtfully.

“He’s been really quiet. I think he understands more about what happened than Annabelle does but he just doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings about it.”

I nodded. Jamie seems like a great dad and husband, he’s kind and warm and basically the opposite of Maggie. I know it’s not the nicest thing to think about but my conversation with Jamie made me wonder how he could be with someone who was just so…mean. I obviously didn’t ask but I’d be lying if I didn’t say the thought hadn’t crossed my mind.

“Faith?” Claire came up to me and asked if I could start helping her clean up. The guests were trickling out and I began collecting cups and plates from around the living room and dining rooms while Claire followed me around with a garbage bag.

“Wow, Claire, I can’t believe you’re actually cleaning things up, especially since you never clean up after yourself. “ Maggie stood in the archway to the dining room with her arms crossed and a smirk across her face.

Claire rolled her eyes and kept cleaning.

After about an hour, everything was put away, cleaned up, or taken out to the garbage. I saw Mike helping 

Maggie clean up in the kitchen while Claire and I roamed for cups and dirty napkins.

“Ready to go?” He asked as I put a final garbage bag in the trashcan.

“Yes.” I said with exhaustion. I stayed with Mike at his apartment for the night but could barely stay awake once I got changed out of my funeral clothes.

“You were right.” I said. I was laying on the couch with my head resting on Mike’s lap.

“About what?” He asked.

“It WAS a long day.”