Commitment

Wesley and Zoey got married!

Time Out

It’s been a while since I wrote last.

Moving on Up

Things have been moving slowly for me. It’s like I’m underwater but no one else around me is so they’re all talking and moving like normal while I’m struggling to breathe.

I miss him.

Lost Girls

“I’m not sure what to do anymore.” I said, “Faith barley eats, she only leaves the house unless it’s to go to work. Whenever I go over there she’s just laying down staring at the wall.”

“We need to do something.” Zoey said, “She’s been like this for almost a month.”

“Can you blame her though?” Penny asked.

The three of us were sitting in my living room. I had invited Penny and Zoey over to figure out how we could help Faith.

Round Table Revelations

“He was going to propose?” Zoey asked.

We were eating dinner at our favorite place: a diner that specialized in great cheeseburgers, cold shakes, and crisp fries.

“Yeah.” I said dipping a fry in ketchup.

“No offense, Faith,” Penny said, “but you don’t seem very happy about…well…any of the situation at all.”

Damage Control

Molly is officially gone. Our apartment feels so empty without her and I’m still trying to figure out what I’m going to do. Our lease is up next month and I’m pretty sure I won’t renew it, which means I have a month to find a new apartment in my price range and then actually move into it. I also have to budget in buying a ton of new furniture since virtually all of our furniture was Molly’s due to mine being destroyed in the fire.

Cold Shoulders

“I don’t know what to do.” I said into the phone.

“Have you tried calling him?” Penny asked.

“I don’t know what to say to him.”

Mike and I hadn’t talked since our fight and I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t feel like I did anything wrong and I wasn’t sure what he exactly he wanted from me. I’d asked Zoey for some advice a few days after and she wasn’t sure what I should do, either. Penny was trying but her ideas were the same ones I had been going over and over and deciding against. After five more minutes I sighed and we said good bye.

“Trouble with Mike?” Molly asked from the breakfast nook.

Dished

“So, Faith, how was your date with Mike?” Zoey asked me.

We were having our weekly brunch meet-up and I’d only just had my breakfast pancake platter put down in front of me before Zoey completely caught me off guard. I’d invited Penny (with Zoey’s blessing) to join us and there were several reasons why Zoey’s topic of choice was an issue: I hadn’t told anyone but Molly that Mike and I had reconnected, considering what happened with Adam, I didn’t want Penny to hear about this…assuming she already didn’t know. I also wasn’t sure I wanted to gush about Mike to my friends and have Penny tell Adam about it. Rubbing all of this in his face would just be too cruel. And finally, I hadn’t told any of them about Adam’s surprise visit and didn’t plan on telling them about it.

Unspoken to Spoken

After talking with Molly some more I had decided to give Zoey her space and let her come to me when she was ready to talk about what had happened with Penny. It took a few days but she sent me a text asking if she could come over and I agreed.

Blindside

Penny and I sat at a booth waiting for Molly and Zoey. We went to a familiar little café that serves the best brunch in town and I was excited for her to meet my friends. Some of the conversations I’d had with Penny made it sound like she really didn’t have a lot of friends outside of Dan’s old college buddies and some co-workers she was friendly with so I thought introducing her to Molly and Zoey would be a great way to meet some new people.

When Molly showed up she was surprised to see another person but shook Penny’s hand as I introduced them before sitting down and making small talk.  I hadn’t told Molly or Zoey that I was bringing Penny because I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal. Boy, was I wrong…

Mutual

“So, that’s it? You just ended it?” Molly said.

“Faith, what were you thinking?” Zoey asked.

The three of us were at the dog park by my apartment with Sasha and Bear (Wesley’s German Shepherd, who Zoey was taking care of while he was out of town for a photo shoot). I told them that Adam and I were no longer together and they were completely floored.

“I just knew we wouldn’t make it if we tried long distance.”

“Well, that’s not true,” Molly said, “There’s no way you could have really known that unless you actually tried it with him.”

“Seriously.” Zoey said.

I sighed.

“Look, you guys don’t have to make me feel bad, okay? I already feel horrible enough as it is.”

“Have you talked to him since then?” Zoey asked.

Ohio Bound

Adam and I hadn’t talked since I left his apartment in the middle of the night besides a text he’d sent me the morning after:

    

           I know you need time and I’ll give you some space. –A

I kept going back to reread it periodically since then, I’m not sure why. I found myself on Zoey’s couch with the girls sitting around me.

“I feel like there’s no good solution to this.” I said looking into my cup of tea.

“That’s because there’s not.” Molly said.

We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve

So much has happened since I last posted. I’ll start with therapy…

Relapse

On a spur of the moment, Zoey, Molly, and I decided to do a book club sort of thing together. We’ve all been meaning to read the A Song of Ice and Fire series by George R. R. Martin but none of us have gotten around to it yet so we thought we could all read it together. Adam pointed out to me that the series hasn’t actually been finished yet, that there are still two books to be written, but these books are huge and will take me forever to get through so I think the next one will at least be published by the time I’m ready to start reading it.

Molly and I headed over to Zoey’s place early on Sunday morning to talk about the first half of the book together and have brunch.

“I think Joffrey is such a brat.” Molly said.

“Me, too. I think Tyrion is my favorite character so far.” I said knocking on Zoey’s door.

When the door opened, Zoey was not the one standing there.

“Hello ladies.”

Shadows

Molly and I met Zoey for lunch yesterday and it felt so weird to not have Anna there. I tried not to notice it and updated Zoey on the situation with Tucker and work.

Granted

At our last session, Dr. Sheehan said that my grief for Anna would ease with time and that getting back to my old routine would help me move on. The problem was…I didn’t want to move on.

Silence, My Old Friend

We buried Anna today.

A Beautiful Day

The day was so sunny and wonderful. But it's always calmest before the storm, right?

Friends and Foes

This weekend I met Adam’s friends and he met mine. And let me just tell you it was a DOOZY of a weekend.

Friendlies

Adam and I were out on a date. The weather was finally not blisteringly cold so we met up at a park and walked around near the lake for awhile until the wind picked and we were too cold. We ended up going to a little Italian place for dinner.

I wore a black scoop neck dress with ¾ sleeves and some black booties and Adam was wearing a grey sweater that really brought out his beautiful green eyes and dark wash jeans. We looked good.